Emo Day!! Seriuosly..Emotional Business Day

You feel stupid today!! you keeping tell yourself that you will be FINE!! You will be fine!! Good!! Nice!! Okay!! All right..No worries!! No worries!! No need to worrying like a bloody lunatic!! Don't think too much!!
No need to scares..ditch the negative thoughts, think no evil, see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil, ditch the evil, there's no evil ..

You do understand.. You don't see any option for you to choose!
some say it's sad.. selfish. some say it's a reality, there's no wrong and it's not a selfish..
and you know.. you can't give the best, not even able to provide the primary needs. somehow the stubborn of you want to give it a try.. you might work the best .. maybe it will result to have the best..
but the logic of you read out a reality that you're definitely lead a life into a lifeless if you let the stubborness take over your mind!!

you started grow affection, you starting take a good care of yourself..
you often caugh yourself carefully walks and act!! somehow you don't understand.. why you grow just silly feeling when on the other side you clearly know where the destination it is. you rather drink a glass of fresh milk than a cup of coffee..you rather suffering from insomnia than get the sleeping pills to help you to sleep and feeling quilty to drink one or two!! and when you feel good about yourself when you avoid the badness..the evil thought take over you.. it says" he eventually have to leave soon there's no use to be that good.. !!"

you cry hopelessly knowing it should be a dreadful pain for your loved one to go through of losing his life.. you wept into the pillow beg for forgiveness!
if you could turn back the time then you would.. remembered about the simple reminder that says " don't drink if you drive!!" or don't drive if you drink!!" it confused you..
but it is too late to regret.. although accident is a accident..you think make the mature decided and the decision already made..

although it is definitely not the right decision and it might against your nature
Go stronger woman.. be tough that you have the woman abilities to built your own strength.
The strength of the willpower to believe that everything will be back on the track just like the old ordinary good day..
Be believe the situation will never this worse in forever but it will not go smooth either !!
The kindness and forgiveness does will heal the wounds and scars.
The memories of pain will fade along the time goes by.. it's might take you a days, weeks, months or years, you will get over it!

Take a time sit yourself down be trully honest to yourself,
let your woman self train your brain how to forgive yourself in order to lead yourself to learning from all mistakes and stupidities that you had committed and done..

You hope everything will be all right.. when you wake up on Wednesday night..hopefully there's no serious complication towards your emotional behaviour.