Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Dan Savage in LOVE

Im totally insane and mad about this stuff, Savage love by HK magazine!! it was guy name Dan he was a real gay but I used to adore him anyway..and since I got get back in HK just this month so I've missed soo many stories about this Dan.. but I have to thank's to Ben (a.k.a Bro ) to kept those lousy magazines and let me bitching on them!! and Dan savage was also a genius writter too.. his new book- The Commitment: Loves, Sex, Marriage, and Family is out now and I wanted to get one later.. or maybe someone willing to send to me later? as a gift for me.. God, I am a slummer I have to admit it.. I was poor as hell now!! I maybe have to make a doantion post for myself..
all right let's get on the point about this letter:
from a hurt heart girl:
I generally don't agree with the advice you give, but I need help and I can't talk to my friends.
About two months ago I broke off a relatinship with a guy I had been seeing for about seven years. Iam only 24 years old and I needed to explore other fish in the sea! I immediately hooked up with this Russian guy who I had been crushing on for some time. it turned out he spoke a little bit English but he treathed me amazing. we slept together and he stared deeply into my eyes and I was totally head over the heels. He seemed just perfect in so many ways, except he lied to me about two things: his age and his use of hard drugs. a little exaggeration about age is fine, I guess, but I was stressed by how much time he spent messed up on cocaine, K and E
I went to a friend's Christmas party and brought him. I tried to kiss him, but he told me he was too high. I felt rejected. Later, we were supposed to meet up in the evening after not seeing other for a week. When I phoned he told me that he was toos toned to leave his house. I felt awful again. I dumped him over the phone. I was PMSing, which is probably gross for you yo know but it affects my decision-making processes, so I thought you should be aware. The next day he came over with a friend who could translate for him. He was clearly high. I told him if he didn't use drugs so much we could go out again. Two days later I went to his house to talk to him and he tried to give me a Christmas present, but I couldn't accept it because he said he didn't want to talk about us. I sat there dazed and finally left without saying goodbye.
The dilema is that I can't stop thinking about him. I have texted him many times but he hasn't responded. I wasnt to talk to him because I want to know if he didn't want to be in a relatiionship with me at all and was waiting for me to leave him, or he still likes me and for some reason he's not responding.
What should I do? I need closure. Do you know what's going on his head? Am I crazy for trying to resolve things? - Hurt Heart.

For future reference, HH, the next time you want an advice columnist's full attention, you might not want to open your letter with an insult such as " I generally don't agree with the advice you give but I need help" if you were being assaulted would you call 911 and cream, " I HATE YOU PIGS!"?
On to my shitty advice: I don't know what's going on in his head- and judging from his drug use, he may not know either. But clearly he enjoys drugs a whole lot more than he enjoys you ( and considering your people skills, Who could blame him?) As to wether or not he ever wanted to be in relationship with you at all or was waitinig for you to leave him or still lies you, blah, blah, blah only he knows the answers to those questions and it looks like he's not telling. Does that deny you closure? No, HH, it doesn't. He's giving it to you- hell, he's slamming you closed.
Then why, if he doesn't really care about you, was the sex great? Why did he stare so deply into your eyes? Because, HH, sometimes we click physically and chemically with someone who's just not righ for us- or not all there- and the result can be mind-blowing sex and nothing more. Despite what pope Benedict would have us believe, sex without love can be amazing. Unfortunately,many sexually inexperienced peolpe erroneously believe that mind-blowing, intensely connected sex must be evidence of adeeper, more-profound connection. Sometimes it is, HH, sometimes it isn't. ( And sometimes people stare deeply into our eyes because they're having a hard time focusing.)
I'll conclude my shitty advice with this observation, HH: You broke up with your last boyfriend after seven years because you wanted to filet some of the other fishes in the sea. So why are ou trying to settle down with the very first fish you reeled in?

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